Motherhood

Jason is staying in Mobile overnight tonight, so I am sitting in bed alone wondering what to do. Normally I would be drifting off to Lala Land the second Hope was asleep, but when Jason is out of town, I have trouble sleeping without him. I seem to become an insomniac. Well, not quite that bad. It’s only 10:30 pm. But, I tend to stay up much later than normal...usually until my eyelids are closing without my telling them to. It’s storming outside and I can hear the wind whistle against my windows. Its an erie sound I never much liked. I would much rather it down-pour all night. I miss you Jason!

Today, I watched a movie about motherhood. Actually, It was called “Motherhood”. It was an independent film, so it was a little on the weird side, but it got me thinking. The main character, played by Uma Thurman, is a mother who used to be a popular writer. She is now the author of a daily blog about her life as a stay-at-home wife and mother. She decides to enter a writing contest for a parenting magazine. Winner gets their own column. So, she goes about her day, trying to figure out how to explain motherhood in 500 words. As a new mother, I sat their thinking, how would I explain motherhood? Whats my favorite part of the day? What are my favorite things about Hope? How has motherhood changed me as a person? If I could go back, would I do it again, knowing what I was getting into? Well, lets see what I have come up with at the end of the day.

My favorite time of day is the moment I walk into Hope’s room in the morning to get her out of bed. I call her my little sunshine, because every morning she wakes up with a smile on her face and I always think of the rising sun. Also, I’ve been singing “You are My Sunshine” to her since she was in the womb.

My favorite things about Hope: Her smile is number one on my list, especially now that her two bottom teeth stick out! She holds my hand as she falls asleep. When she is sleeping in my arms, and something startles her, she wakes up, looks for my face, and as soon as she sees me smiling at her, she falls back asleep. She likes to stand on my lap and play with my face. She will stand there poking and pulling and giggling for as long as I will let her. She is such a happy baby. Every morning I wake up to the sound of her jabbering through the monitor. Through out the day, she only stops laughing and squealing when she is hungry (makes it easy for me to know whats wrong). If you ever need a reminder that the world really is a beautiful place, come over to my house, because Hope sees something good in everything (except a hungry tummy or a lack of sleep). I love watching her play with her toys. She looks at them with these intense eyes, like she is trying to really figure them out. She pays attention to everything. I like to play with her and make voices for her stuffed animals. Every time I do, though, she looks over at me. If she doesn’t catch me moving my mouth, than she looks back at the toy and laughs her big belly laugh. But, if she catches me, she looks at me, then back and her toy, then back at me all disappointed. She is too smart for her own good. We all know there is much more I love about Hope, but I have already started rambling, so, before this post becomes a book, I will stop at this for now.

How has motherhood changed me as a person? Wow, this is a hard one. I’ll start by saying that it has changed me for the better. I never used to really care about much, meaning I floated through life, not really paying much attention. Now, I wake up every morning alert. I have a job to do and someone who is depending on me for all her needs. I have a husband who is depending on me to take care of the household while he provides for the family. I wake up with this in my mind, and it changes the way I see my day. Really, it changes the way I see my life. I think ahead and plan. I don’t always stick to the plan, but I plan! I look at my mistakes and see how I can do better next time. I’m not perfect by any means!!! But, I can say that I am honestly trying. I feel like I am finally fully awake. I feel like I am right in the middle of God’s will for me and He is helping me better myself everyday.

Yes, I had a really hard pregnancy. I had horrible morning sickness the WHOLE time (minus month seven, that was a good month), and morning sickness isn't restricted to the morning, trust me. Yes, the stress the pregnancy and birth put on my body caused me to get very sick and we still don’t know what is wrong. But would I do it again? YES! Absolutely, I would do it again! My life hasn’t been the same since I set eyes on my little sunshine. At the end of every day, when I am standing over Hope’s crib, ready to put her to bed, I say a prayer, thanking God for her. I’ve never prayed a more sincere prayer.

I love being a wife. I love being a mother. Just as I have known I would since I was a little girl.

I think tonight is the perfect night to post the pictures from Olimb Photography. Enjoy...